As a smidget of my world is finally tangible, I decided to blossom in expressing my more intimate narrative as well. I have been developing more intentionally over the years, and in doing so I discovered I desperately needed to relinquish some projects/ideas/thoughts that had been holding space in my creative mental lab. I became overloaded with artistic concepts but had lag’d on the execution.  I would grow so angry and disappointed with self for not measuring up to the invisible mark of accomplishment I placed upon myself. Stressing out, overthinking, and feeling all types of goofy. I went through emotions of hopelessness, doubt, self pity, resistance, procrastination and fear.  I had to rework and rewire some old habits that worked for me in the past, but no longer benefited this more developed me. Then, not becoming hesitant with the path that comes with it. 

 

So here I am, some 20’s something, cheers-ing*, to a continued journey of reprogramming.   Of self – push.  Showing myself, rather than telling myself. Understanding I have so much to give, and there’s so much to be done. And reminding myself how exciting that should be so that it doesn’t become burdensome.   I’ve learned, when your dreams become burdens, then all you’ll see is nightmares.  So pinch yourself, snap out of it, splash some water on your face. WHATEVER it takes. Wake yourself up.

 

 

-xX P.